Vacuum

We meet so many people during our journey of life, some we know, some we just dont know but end up talking to maybe for directions, shopkeepers etc. and some we know, who are very close, some get close and some are just normal.

There is a sense of vacuum which has always been there, which seems to have deepened and feels like as if there will be an explosion, everything seems to be incomplete and there is allot to do, there has always been a search in life, but what is the search for is a big mystery. Each time it feels the search is over but realize the goal is still very far off.

There is allot of sufference, pain, struggle and questions, to support it all is the faith, love and support.

Debate for Age

It is very weired why I could not stop thinking about the episode, wanted to discuss it with everybody, know every body's opinions. Each time the topic came up I was alert and enjoyed it... this was something weired, me behaving like a teenager....

Am I going back to my teens? was the question in my mind... the ability of judging the right and the wrong was dying...a constant debate of right and wrong, a constant debate of age and no age... a constant debate of generations.... a constant debate of To be or Not To be was on.... the debate carried on..... the mind kept denying and the heart kept convincing the thought...

The thought of it getting over soon with time and the life would get back to normal after the evening was on... but who knew what would happen, as the debate was on on the other side too.... but I loved the Debate for Age.

Speech By A Prisoner

"People have been running after me for a long time, for what is a big question which I am also not able to understand but they have been running.

Today when I stopped they caught me and have put in front of this camera to address the nation, for what.. is another question... why have they caught me is another question...

I have been running, but always in front and been chased.. everybody runs, some run up hill and some run down hill.... I have always run Up Hill so the people along with me have always run Up Hill and risen higher and higher...still I don't understand why today I have been caught.

Now that I have been caught doesn't mean I will stop running, because I will be still followed now by Press and Media to know what next is happening in my life..... so see you again and yes Catch Me if You Can."

The non existant reality

It is very strange but true that recently I have started to talk about the non exisiting person in my life.

I live with the thought of that person being around, imagine myself looking after that person. I am so sure my life would change so much if it happens for real.

Sri Lankan Farewells

From the time I have broken the news of Me Leaving Sri Lanka forever to my colleagues, Staff at the Hotel, My Clients... have been getting these funny reactions from them...

By Funny reactions I mean something which I Just did not expect...beyond expectations...

My Last Working Day @ SL Office :

The team did let me leave office early, they wanted me to stay back till late ( Though they have been wishing and praying for me to leave the country from the time I joined the SL office :) )

In the evening the team had organised for a High Tea as a farewell party, which looked more like a formality without any emotions, I was handed over a souvenir and a card and the team bid me Good Bye forever... could see the happiness on their face saying good riddance...

Farewell Most Unexpected :

In the evening on my way back to the Apartment....got a call from Rumiaz and Mansoor who wanted to catch up for coffee in the evening....first I was reluctant but thought it would be good if they came over...as I was over burdened with work from India.

The time decided for coffee was 19.00 hrs but the same was re scheduled to 20.30 hrs... well I thought of Dinner instead of coffee....

Sharp 20.30 hrs they were at the Apartment holding a couple of Bags in their Hands.... before I could enquire about the bags... Mansoor handed over a small Bag to me and saying they had got my Favourite Burgers for me to enjoy..... oh! it touched me some where.... I had that pain in my throat... never expected someone not related really thinking about me so much.....

I really wanted to order in one of the Best Dinners for them....so called the Chef and asked him organise the Best Dinner he could in the Apartment.... the staff came in set up the Table and laid the Italian Dinner with Lobsters, Prawns, Fish, Chicken, Lamb, Pasta, Risotto.... and No Alcohol...

I was touched....just had no words for them...why were they doing it for me...I just had a professional relation with them...a Client and Service Provider Relation...they really took time off to be with me....

Post Dinner Mansoor prepared coffee for all of us.... and just wanted me to sit in the living area and took charge of the Kitchen....

Before leaving they handed over a big box wrapped up... and wanted me to open it...they said it was a farewell gift for me.... It was a beautiful Shirt... I just did not know where to look... I hugged them and thanked them....

Soon they left.

Oktober Fest Farewell :

Yohan ( Sales Manager , The Hotel Residence).. Called me the next Day, and invited me over to the Oktober Fest @ The Hilton Colombo (Oktober fest is known as the Beer Fest in India).

He said it was a farewell dinner to me and the entire Sales team was sad for me leaving the Apartment for Good.... I was surprised as I had nothing to give him...for business nor I was any future Business prospect for him....

The Oktober Fest was a great experience with so many German Expats around...Free Different kind of Beer flowing all over... loved the BBQ...

The over all it was good experience and loved the farewell....

Halloween Farewell :

Joana walked up to me to the Swimming Pool while I was chilling with a nice chilled Beer in my hand.... well it was the first meeting, she introduced herself to me saying she was a great fan of me and has been noticing me swimming, chilling, roaming around the pool for the past few months.... and heard about me leaving the country for good, so wanted me to come for her Halloween Party....

I found it a bit strange but did accept the invitation.... The Party was not too Bad...but the People were really warm...I did dance, though I was not comfortable as Sri Lankans are great Dancers...but did manage to dance with a few Girls around who tried teaching me Salsa ;)...but was good fun.

The Joy Ride Farewell....

Wow... Nilanka drove the car around Colombo @ 120 + kmph... and made me sit on the front seat... I freaked...but the dude would just keep increasing the speed....would never forget...

That Evening I was touched...my friends from the front office wanted me to come out with them for dinner...Nilanka and Asanka were @ the Apartment to pick me up...they treated me out for Dinner @ Raja Bojun ( an amazing place to eat Sri Lankan Food)...

Later during the evening our Old Friend No. 7 Mr Jack Daniel's was presented to them by me.... rest is that no one reached office on time :)

I am really touched with the affection of the people @ Sri Lanka, it was so unconditional...they all knew I would never be coming back....I could give them nothing... but all wanted to be with me.... I am so touched with my Farewells...

Random Thoughts

Sitting by the Swimming Pool and working for the past four days now... tuning myself for the change, a good change.

For the past few minutes have been getting some Random Thoughts, Random Words, some related to my Stint in Sri Lanka and some our just as Random as my thoughts.

Separation, Welcome, Suffering, Love, Hate, Music, Reunion, Healing, Taxi, Trishaw, Lake, Sea, Sun, Rain, Storm, Heat, Hotel, Apartment, Attachments, Breakfast, Dinner, Hunt, Search, Healing, Hug, Alcohol, Smoke, Jack Daniel's, Scotch, Wine, Casino, Travel Agent, Visa, Passport, Security, Check Points, President, Clothes, Tea, Coffee, Caffetine, Ice Coffee, Night, Sleep, Cry, Pain, Dreams, Swim, Gym, Sun Bath, Walk, Cars, Struggle, Streamline, Process, Prostitutes, Reception, Hotel Staff, Cry, Miss, Marriage, Family, SMS, emails, Origami, Eagles, Eric Clapton, MTV, Movies, Ravana, Spoon, Cuttle Fish, Fuck, Sex, Bastard, Dollars, Rupee, Currency Exchange, Satisfaction, Dissatisfaction, Perfumes, Blanket, Couch, Eyes, Tears, Balcony, Sun Set, Room Card, Wander, Feedback, Warmth, Failure, Wait, Pray, Chutney, Mango Tree, Camera, Farewell, Search, Open up, Introspection, Phone Calls, Late Nights, Drunk, Drugged, Bachelor, Commitments, Business, Targets, Reviews, Clients, luncheon Meetings, Flights, Army, Bar, Pub, Night Clubs, Calculations, Excel Sheets, Plan, Content, Aazan, Buddha, Young, Hair Cut, Planes, Combat, Civil War, Questions, Privacy, Friendship, Beaches, Forts, Temples, Maturity, Ownership, Holidays, Laptop, Shout, Mood Swings, Medicines, Hospitals, Parties, Blog, Train, Hills, Training, Pool Table, Steam Bath, Room Service, Lamp Rice, Kokul Mass Curry, Cuttle Fish, Swim Suites, Downloads, EGB, Cream Soda, Eyes, Yoga, Books, Transit, Suit Cases, Buildings, Breeze, Visits, Church, Silence, Birds, Nazal Drops, Bipolar, GAD, Lips, Hands, Expectations, Wine, UAT, Whyte&Mackay,...

So Random :)

The Wanderer

Well she was one of them, who wandered all over in the desert on the full moon nights when the Sand Shines like silver bed and kept searching for the stars, and wandered on the nights when there was no moon and then cried in search of the moon...she would search for the warmth in the nights in the desert.... she wandered all over the place had all in front of her but never took it and always wondered why she never got it... All wanted to heal her, all wanted to comfort her but still she wandered and took very little from it.

Lost in her own sorrow of failure of not been able to get what she wanted, she started a journey called search...search for what was always in front but never felt....she ran for things, what she thought would give her comfort...but always searched the wrong thing.

समुद्र तालाश्ती थी सहेरा में , चांदनी खोजती थी अमावस्या में, रेत्त की उस चमक को चांदी वोह समझ बेठी थी , और जब सूरज की उस रौशनी ने उस चांदी को फिर रेत्त में बदल डाला, अब दिल का क्या हाल था उसको न पता था, अब वोह क्या खोजती किसको पता था